Here We Go Again

Four and a half years. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve posted. Things happened, jobs were lost and gained, and pounds were lost and gained and lost and gained again.

And then gained some more.

And a few more.

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Completely Accurate Photo

In November of last year, I realized I was up to 270. For someone who’s 5’1″ that’s a lot of poundage. Walking to and from my car at work was a nightmare of back pain, so I decided to drop a little weight. I got down to 256 by January, and started logging again. I made it to 239 by April and then lost my motivation. But I still paid some attention to what I was eating and what I was doing so I wouldn’t gain it back this time. I also managed to develop a taste for artificial sweeteners, which is good because I was consuming an absurd amount of sugar.

It worked. As of this past Tuesday, at 232 pounds, I joined WW on the basis that if I lost 7 pounds just “maintaining” maybe some real effort would produce real results.

So here we go again. Each year it gets a little harder and I don’t want to see 50 like this because I’m pretty sure at that point, I’d give up. So that gives me four years to get myself together and get this done.

I can do it.

I will do it.

 

One Month On

Hello again.

Bet you thought I’d strayed once more, hmm?

NOPE.

Here I am, thirty-one days later, and twenty-four (24!) pounds less.

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This number, plus or minus a couple hundred…

I haven’t been working out much due to the “Oops, I forgot to pay my membership” plan I currently have at the gym, but just being back at work has had a huge impact. I’ve also been logging my food again, which is good, otherwise the fast loss might be alarming. But I know from logging that I went from zero activity and 3000+ calories per day to moderate activity and 1500 calories per day. While the quick drop won’t last long, it’s not unusual with such a drastic change.

My hair is also… normal. As in, not purple (SO SAD). As part of my bargain with myself, it stays this way until that first number on the scale is a 1 again. I’m over halfway there, I can do this.

So, yeah. Kitty’s still going, and stepping it up more next week. MEOW.

When Reasonable Eating Becomes a Habit

Something that I find kind of interesting… sometimes (especially on my days off), I’m tempted to declare a “free day” because I either just kind of graze all day, or I eat whatever happens to be in the house, rather than going out and getting something healthy. But I go ahead and log the calories, and find that I’m nearly always under goal. Even if I go over, it’s usually by less than 50 calories.

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Yes, I ate Hershey’s miniatures. Three of them, to be exact, which isn’t bad when you consider that a “serving” is five pieces. They weren’t even dark chocolate (the healthier option). There was a time that I would have eaten the entire bag on my day off. Now, it wouldn’t even occur to me to do so, not because it’s “wrong”, but because it’s just not a thing I do anymore. I also ate a Totino’s Mexican Pizza. And a salad. And another salad, because the first one was so tasty, I wanted another a few hours later.

It makes me feel good to know that my habits are changing. It makes it that much easier to believe that I’ll reach my goals.

Declaring Independence From Old Habits

Got stuck working on Independence Day. I don’t mind so much, since my family celebrated over the weekend, but I felt bad for my coworkers. So I ordered this for them:IMG_6469_2

While I ate this:

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I was a bit bummed, but really? Mine looks way more appetizing. And I didn’t fall asleep after eating it (my usual reaction to pizza). I’ve been told that I eat so much salad, I’m going to “turn into a rabbit”. What? Tiny, adorable, and able to move really fast? I can live with that.

Choices (And Why Sometimes the “Bad” Ones are Okay)

This is a picture of 200 calories:

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So is this:

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I had both of these today. One is healthy and filling, and the other… well, not so much. The key is moderation. The trick is not letting “This is my favorite snack, so I’ll just have a few” turn into “Ohmygod, I ate the whole bag.” Some people can’t do this, and that means the snack foods are banished. I’m not one of those people.

Well, except when when it comes to mini cupcakes. Or chocolate-covered cherries. Or half of a footlong instead of the whole thing.

Okay, I sort of am one of those people. But I learned a couple of ways to keep it in check.

  • Log everything. Calories, activities, emotional states… everything. There’s a very good chance you’re taking in more calories than you think. There’s also a good chance you burned enough calories to make up for that scoop of ice cream. Logging moods helps you see if you might be eating more or making poor food decisions/skipping workouts when you’re especially stressed or tired or bored.
  • Don’t keep tempting foods around. If you’re craving chocolate cake, buy a cupcake, take it home, and eat it. Don’t buy a whole cake, because you’re going to eat it all. Whether it’s in one sitting or over the course of several days, it will get eaten, so don’t even let that be an option.
  • For every “bad” thing you consume, drink an extra glass of water. No additional junk food goes in until the water’s gone.

I guess it comes down to just one thing:

Pay attention to what you’re doing and be aware of the consequences.

It really is as simple as that. And it really is as hard as that. But it’s worth it to feel better and have more energy and not be hungry all the time because the bowl of super sugar-frosted sugarpops you had for breakfast took up half your calorie limit for the day.

Changing the way we think

The first big moment of the week didn’t involve scales, exercise, or even real food. It was a picture of food, posted by a friend on Facebook. A picture of one of my all-time favorite desserts, cinnamon rolls. Normally, this would make me think, “Damn, I want a cinnamon roll.” Instead, I saw the icing dripping off it, the sticky-sweetness of it, and thought, “Wow. That’s a lot of calories and fat. Yuck.”

The second moment came immediately afterwards, when I realized that I didn’tmake myself think that. It was an automatic reaction to seeing something with that much sugar. Without even thinking about it, I knew the food in that picture would take up at least half of my calories for the day, and even an hour-long workout wouldn’t balance it out. No matter how tasty it might be, it was completely unappealing. And then I realized I did the same thing the day before when offered pizza. “Thanks, but I already had my low-cal tuna wrap and 32 ounces of water. I’m stuffed.”

How we think about food, and about ourselves, has a huge effect on the choices we make. I like myself quite a lot, and I want to make good choices for myself. Sometimes, that might mean that I go over my goal and snarf down a cinnamon roll, because it just sounds tasty. But then I can make the choice to not do that again for a few weeks or months.

In semi-related news, I bought frozen vegetables today. I’ve never done that for any reason other than to use them as an ice pack.