I’m still here. I’m still doing this.

WW Purple was my plan of choice. Four pounds the first week, three the second. I’m halfway through my third (weigh-in on Tuesday) and kind of… unhappy. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s going wrong here; obviously, it’s working since the weight is dropping. And I’m not hungry. But I’m tremendously unsatisfied, and I think I figured out why.

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All of the foods I did not eat this week.

I focus pretty hard on the zero-point foods, to the point that, out of my 16 points per day, I usually only use 5-6. And those points are usually on a snack here or there. So I’ll “allow” myself a handful of pretzels for 3 points when what I really want is a 10-point cheeseburger. I have ALL of my weeklies, there is no reason whatsoever that I can’t have that cheeseburger every few days. I was originally going with the idea of saving my points for one big day, but I end up not using them.

And more than that, I logged the actually calories of what I’m eating in a day, and it’s under 1000. With the exception of a couple of points here and there, every single thing I eat is nonfat, no sugar, skinless, boneless, plain, and just boring. And the idea of this as a permanent “lifestyle” is incredibly depressing. When I did this before, I ate pretty much whatever I wanted, but in moderation. I tracked calories and activity and if I ate something like, say, a donut, I increased my activity that day to make up for at least half of it. That worked for me except for what a huge pain in the (huge) butt it is to try to figure out the calorie content of every single thing. I thought WW would be easier with the points, and it IS easier to track. But it’s a lot harder to balance the lifestyle I want with what I feel WW says I should have.

I suspect the solution at this point is going to be to switch to a different plan. Purple isn’t awful and it’s definitely got me into some better habits, but this isn’t sustainable long-term for me. I figured all the zero-point foods would be awesome and filling, and I was half-right: very filling, but a little low on the awesome. I need pizza or burgers or an absurdly large roast beef sandwich now and then. I can totally do that with my weeklies, but I don’t like how I feel mentally when I go over my daily points.

So that’s where I am two weeks since my last update. 7 more pounds gone for a total of 31 down from my highest officially-logged weight. 45 from this time last year. I can totally do this.


Here We Go Again

Four and a half years. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve posted. Things happened, jobs were lost and gained, and pounds were lost and gained and lost and gained again.

And then gained some more.

And a few more.

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Completely Accurate Photo

In November of last year, I realized I was up to 270. For someone who’s 5’1″ that’s a lot of poundage. Walking to and from my car at work was a nightmare of back pain, so I decided to drop a little weight. I got down to 256 by January, and started logging again. I made it to 239 by April and then lost my motivation. But I still paid some attention to what I was eating and what I was doing so I wouldn’t gain it back this time. I also managed to develop a taste for artificial sweeteners, which is good because I was consuming an absurd amount of sugar.

It worked. As of this past Tuesday, at 232 pounds, I joined WW on the basis that if I lost 7 pounds just “maintaining” maybe some real effort would produce real results.

So here we go again. Each year it gets a little harder and I don’t want to see 50 like this because I’m pretty sure at that point, I’d give up. So that gives me four years to get myself together and get this done.

I can do it.

I will do it.